Once again, the countryside is bustling with tractors and trailers carting grain from fields to barns before heading back once again to be loaded by the combines busily harvesting away – a pretty and fond sight. ‘It’s Harvest Time’ by Luke Bryan always springs to mind. With many of you beginning harvest on your own farms, or for those of you who have friends, family and even partners who are farmers, this piece will likely strike a few chords with you.
I originally posted this back in 2017 and I was shocked when it went viral, and so, I thought this was the perfect time to bring it back and share it with the world again.
At the time I was dating a contractor and had to point out that, “he is already going to tell me off for not using the correct term – technically my other half is a contractor BUT the way I see it there is little difference between the two when it comes to the affects it can have on a relationship. So I think I’m let off there!“
Any of you who are in a relationship with a farmer, whether it be early stages, solid and secure and planning a future or in a long term settled relationship the perks and pitfalls are all the same.
Rain becomes your friend
Rain becomes your best friend! Instead of the old ‘rain, rain, go away.. come again another day’ jingle, you find yourself starting to look forward to a rainy day here and there.
I was definitely guilty of this, the following conversation being a regular occurrence in our relationship:
Me: Hey babe, do you know what the weather is supposed to do over the next few days?
Him: Yeah, looks like cloudy tomorrow, but rain at the weekend.
Me: *internal YES like an excited child* (normally followed by some kind of over excited gesture) Oh okay, (play it cool) so does that mean you might be off?
Him: Yeah think so, if it rains enough.
I then find myself for the next day, and run up until he said it was supposed to rain, praying to the weather gods to deliver on their promise!
Part-time lunch and dinner lady
I am sure this goes both ways, for our female farmers with loyal lads, but for me was definitely a common occurrence. I often discussed who is getting what with my girl-friends who were also in ‘ag’ relationships. Take-aways tend to become regulars on your call history.
A little tip for you girls: ALWAYS go armed with a beer. That’s a real sweetener.
You won’t meet anyone harder working
Generally, our farming other halves are the most hard working people we know. Mine certainly was. He had such a ‘can do’ attitude and always wants to do his best, which always made me proud, and I find it’s not just in their farming, but it is in everything that they do.
‘If a job isn’t done properly, it isn’t worth doing at all,’ something my Dad always used to tell me, an ethos he got taught and lived by growing up on a farm in Scotland.
You learn to go with the flow
The most important tip I think I can give any of you is to GO WITH THE FLOW, I would get reminded of this frequently by my other half and as infuriating as I found it at time, it definitely is the key to making the relationship work. I don’t think I ever resented the phrase ‘we will see’ as much as I did when dating a farmer.
Planning things is a nightmare at the best of times, but don’t even bother thinking about planning anything during harvest. Planning as far as the next week or month is hard enough, I was often faced with ‘depends on the weather’ or ‘depends how much we get done’, but you learn to take the good with the bad because the pros 100% out way the cons.
For example in keeping with going with the flow – yes there is a perk to this! If you don’t really want to attend an event or party you have been invited to, it is easy to explain your absence on the fact that you need to get things done before the rain comes, or the farmer needs it done by X date/time, it works a treat!
You’re dating the human version of Google Maps
There isn’t a road within my county that my man couldn’t direct me to. So, if I am lost – it’s no problem, he could help get me back on the right track. Roads closed? No problem, he would know a way around it! I have also become a pretty nifty driver maneuvering around all these tiny back roads following his directions on my way to date-night in the field, which brings me onto my next point.
These quickly became a favourite of mine and in my opinion a real perk of dating a farmer! I loved them. My then-partner combined during harvest, so we often had the luxury of a fridge in the cab. Rocking up with a yummy take-away, our favourite tunes blaring out the radio, the 2-way radio amusement, and just the quality time. Nothing beats it in my books!
So, dating a farmer certainly isn’t a walk in the park, but neither is dating in general these days. All I will say, is if you have yourself a hard working, caring and passionate farmer – hold onto them, you will most likely have found yourself one of the most appreciative, loving and loyal partners around.
Photo credit: Rachel Churches